Many people kind of raised their eyebrows in knowing my latest interest in baking and cooking. I couldn't blame them. I guess only people who are really close to me and know me for a long time could understand this new obsession.
I'm okay with question such as "Hey, what starts this obsession?" or "Why, just realize that you're a woman now?" but the question that I dislike the most is "Preparing yourself to get married?". Heck, what's getting married and cooking / baking got to do with each other? I have a friend who can't cook sh*t but her husband is one of the best cook I've ever known! Do they have a problem? No. Does the husband complain? No. So why should people complains on behalf of unable-to-cook-wives of the world? SMH.
And just FYI, my Mom couldn't cook when she married my Father but she learned. Still, my Dad used to make the best fish-balls I've ever tasted! No msg, no flour, just with his bare-hands. Darn, I wish he can still do that, but alas, it needs power to make fish-balls, believe me, I saw him made them when I was little LOL And sometimes he still cooks for himself even now.
People are also surprised when they find out that I like crafting. Nah... not that kind of crafting that I can make money of but I do like working with my hands, thread and needles. I used to make my own Christmas cards for friends, sew my own pouch (by hand, since we never had a sewing machine at home), make my own picture diary with stickers and such. But they're so time consuming that I just can't do it anymore.
Back to cooking and baking. There is a good reason why I never show a lot of interest on it before. My Mom. She's a good baker to be honest and through the years she became a good cook for us. I was always curious and wanted to learn from her, but I never got the chance too. She said I was a nuisance in the kitchen. She said she hated me hovering over her while she was cooking and baking. The simple snacks I could make from flour and cassava, I learned from my maid who was patient enough to buy the ingredients and taught me when my mom wasn't home. And whatever I made, my mom never wanted to taste even once. So I made it, I ate it.
As I grew up, I never had the confidence to put my hands on recipes or even going near the stove except for boiling water or cooking instant noodles. I felt like whatever I made was going to be a disaster compared to my Mom's. Same as my way of dressing. Until the day my Mom died, I could never dress up myself with my own style nor could I walk out of the house without her approving of my clothing. What she bought or thought look nice, I had to wear, no questions asked. Only after she passed away I gradually changed my whole wardrobe and started dressing according to my own style and liking. At the age of 32.
After she died and no one to cook at home, I started buying recipe books, cooking pasta for my friends who were visiting, even looked into the fridge and mixed stuff that's left in it. Sometimes they're bad (but I still finished them anyway LOL), sometimes they're okay (my Dad didn't mind to eat them) and sometimes they're good (that my friends requested me to cook for them again). But I finally learned that "Hey, I can do this! I'm not that bad!" The more I tried, the more I realized that "Yes, cooking is great, especially when people can actually eat what I cook!" I don't have an oven at home, so I haven't started with baking, but I will very soon, once I got enough money to buy a nice oven :)
I'm starting over.
A month ago, I tried my hands on some no-bake-cake recipes. The Nuttela-cheesecake was okay but the Marshmallow-oreo was a disaster LOL But that didn't stop me from trying. Last Saturday I tried to make my very first mini donuts and my Aunt happened to visit while I was frying them. She said it tasted wonderful! Maybe she was trying to make me feel good hahaha but I didn't mind. She ate 5 of them (or maybe more?) and said the most wonderful thing I've always wished I could hear from my mom: "Would you like me to teach you Grandma's pudding recipe?" It's one of my mom's specialty inherited from my Grandma. I never tasted any good chocolate pudding as the one I always ate when my Mom and Grandma were alive. I'm excited.
I'm starting over.
I'm going to take baking course. I'm going to schedule a pudding-making lesson from my Aunt. I'm going to try more recipes. And I'm going to dye my hair Plum again.
I'm starting over. And it's never too late to start over.
I don't feel bitter anymore about my mom's attitude toward my kitchen interest. If she let me learned from her, maybe I won't be this excited again. Maybe I won't have the drive to try something new. Maybe I won't discover new joys in life in such simple actions as learning to make pudding. But mothers, please let your daughters or sons learn from you. It might be a disaster in the kitchen, you might feel annoyed. But believe me, it will be something that your children treasures when they grow up. Teach them with patience, show them what you can do. And one day they can proudly say: "Hey, my Mom taught me this! How cool is that?"
Lastly, I've posted this in Facebook, but again, please ignore the strangely shaped donuts. Apparently it wasn't easy to create a round-and-full donuts with just two spoons even though you've watched the tutorial in youtube a hundred times!
