Christmas is only 2 days away and as it's getting nearer I only feel lonelier. Aa tradition, ever since I was born Christmas and New Year is the time to spend with family. I had never had to plan anything or even wanted to cause I knew I had mu family to spend it together with.
After Mom passed away it's always time to spend with Dad. Planning what to eat during the holiday, who's taking Dad to church, carefully making plans to meet up with friends so I wouldn't have to leave home everyday. He would get lonely.
This Christmas I'm not part of the church's Christmas committee. I have more time to spend but no Mom or Dad to take care of. I even find it hard to make plans on how to spend the holiday. Nothing feels right, everything feels out of place. I'll gp to church with my brother and sister and law, but no longer holding Dad's hands. No longer wondering where to take him ro dinner. It's the loneliest day in the 7 months since he'd gone.
But I'm still blessed tremendously. There are a lot of people who cares and understand. I dont't need pity, I just need someone to drop a message every once in awhile and wish me a good day. I'm not lonely all the time, I just need someone to call and say hi and ask me how I'm doing. And this Christmas I am even more grateful to have those lovely people - friends, family, extended family - to stand by me and hold my hands even when they don't have many to say.
I may be lonely tonight, but tomorrow I will be happy and my heart filled with joy and peace from up above. And it will be a wonderful Christmas once again. Like it always was.
