October 29 was my dad's 69th birthday. The day before, he got his 8th DAN in Karate and we were very happy for him. In the morning, I left to work as usual, said take care to my parents as they were getting ready to take my mom to the hospital for a check up.
I was having a quick lunch around 2:00PM when I saw a missed call in my mobile. It was from my mom. So I returned the call and she informed me in a very calm manner: "The doctor told us to stop coming. I should just stay at home and to enjoy my time. The cancer already spread everywhere and there's nothing that the doctor can do about it." I just said: " Oh... ok then. How are you feeling now? Ok? I'll se you at home later." I finished my lunch and quickly returned to the office. I didn't cry.
Half an hour later my aunt called and said: "Hey, your mom just called me. Be strong for your parents! I know you can do it." That's when everything came crushing down on me. I ran and cried in the bathroom. I got back to my desk 5 minutes later after washing my face clean, there were a couple of bankers in the office and I didn't want to keep them wondering what's happened to me. 15 minutes later my boss returned to the office after a meeting, he noticed that my eyes were all red and called me into his office. He asked me what's going on, that I should be honest with him. I broke down again when I told him the news. He told me to go home to be with my parents.
While driving home I called K Atin & K El, cried all the way. When I got home my dad wasn't around, only my mom & my aunt. We tried to talk calmly but tears kept falling down uncontrollably. She told me: "I have talked to your brother. I told him to finish his college and learn to stand on his two feet. Your father is strong, I know. You are strong, I know you can handle this well too. But your brother has always been depended on me. I want you to take good care of him when I'm gone. Look after him in my place, teach him to be independent." I was speechless, i just nodded.
Around 6:00PM my uncle & his family came. We held a small service. We sang together while Krissy & I took turns playing the guitar. My uncle preached the Word of God. And we prayed. Not for her recovery, but for us to keep our faith until the end. We made a promise that we could cry as much as we wanted only that day. But the next day we have to stand strong again and be thankful that God has given us this far to be together as family. We still don't know when her time is up, it could take days, weeks, months, even years. But with each passing time, we want to give thanks to God because HE is our source of strength & joy.
Ever since that day, everyday when I get home I always have to take a look at her. Most of the time she would be in pain. I could only give her soothing words and sometimes sat by her bedside. We didn't cry as much but instead we tried to be happy and cherish each moment spent together. Amazingly, it felt great. When you really realize that you don't have much time left, and start to consider each second as a treasure... You will be able to do what you have never had courage to, to say what you've always meant to say, and to live life to the fullest as if there's no tomorrow.
In the end... GIVE THANKS! That you're still breathing when you read this post... (^___^)
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