Connect and Re-connect

8 months into 2016... I do feel that time surely flies in a blink of an eye... in only 8 months so many things had happened but one most important thing that I learned is to connect and reconnect.

I tried to spend more time with my family, both immediate and extended. Timewise, I have to admit it's really not easy to do. Considering the highway, mrt, lrt and whatever constructions all over Jakarta, the time spent on the road is getting longer and longer. By the time I got home on weekdays, it's already 7 - 8pm and I felt exhausted. Weekend is spent doing laundry, cleaning up my room, and no matter how tired I am I determined to go to church with my Dad on Sunday morning for the 7am service then went to buy lunch with him. Once in a while we also had lunch together, sometime just the two of us, or if time permits with my Bro and Sis in law.

One thing that I also noticed is my Dad felt lonely if I spent a lot of time outside home. Since my Bro and Sis in law started their own business, my Dad spent all day at home by himself including on weekend. Even though I just stayed in my room reading or watching, I saw that he felt better having someone at home. If I went out for 2 weekends in a row, the next weekend he would asked me: "What have you been doing? Why are you so busy? Are you going again today?". You know, I always told him where I was going, but his medical condition made him forget. So I explained again... and sometime, I cancelled my plan and just stayed at home. That's when I realized that I have been given such a great opportunity to take care of him when many times I heard about lonely parents who live alone without seeing their children for a long time. I am blessed.

I went out with my cousins, met up with some uncle and aunts, sent messages to those whom I haven't seen or heard from in awhile. To be honest, I used to think spending time with them to be such a chore. But it really amazed me that this time, somehow, as our relationship grew tighter I also felt stronger. Like I have people who cared about me behind my back to support me and pray for me. And I hope that's how they feel too. As lately, so many things good or bad are happening to our family in and outside Jakarta, but somehow there was always a way for us to be connected one way or another, to keep updated with how each other's doing. God's restoring our family's relationship and there's still more that He wants to do with us. I'm expecting.

As for friends... I have to let some go, but gain new ones... After not meeting for a long time, a friend told me during our dinner: "You know, I read that we have lesser friends as we get older. We just don't have the time and patience to build new relationships, it's already hard to maintain old ones." At first I agreed. As time went by, it dawned on me that as I grew older, I also grew impatient and unable to tolerate bullshits. I'd rather have friends who can't promise when to meet but actually have time to keep in touch or just say hi over the phone, than friends who keep saying we should do things together but in the end don't even have time to ask me how I'm doing while they're busy posting stuff of them having fun in SNS.

Being stuck in traffic in the morning or after office hour also became an important moment for me to re-connect. I put on my hands-free and make some calls. There is one dear friend whom I cannot meet at church regularly anymore since we have different service to attend. She spent all day taking care of her mother so it's also not easy to find time to meet outside church. Mornings are to call her or others whom I know are not having regular office work. Evenings to night are for those who's only available after work. My mobile phone bill is rising definitely (though not significantly), but it's money worth spending for.

When I was going through a hard time a few months ago, I didn't tell many people. I posted a thank you post in my FB though but some people surprised me by sending messages to ask what happened and how I coped up with it. And those were people whom I didn't expect to actually care. And just like that, we re-connected and kept in touch. It all started from a simple "Hi, how are you?"

In the end, time is the most valuable thing that we can give to our loved ones. Make an effort to pick up your phone to call or just send a message. You will never know when someone is in need of a person to talk to. Make sure to put down your phone and ignore your SNS for an hour or so when the other person is talking. This year is full of blessings to connect and re-connect for me. And I want to keep it going. Maybe you should too.

Oh yes, here's some moments with my loved ones!! There's a lot more but I haven't backed them up to my computer hahaha These will do :)

160626 Family from Sacramento, before they fly back home. Miss them already!

160707 Bro's birthday and Lebaran holiday lunch w/ Dad... at the Mall!!

160730 Sending off our cousin to University in Semarang and celebrating our birthday.

Up Close & Personal

One night last week my Dad had a big smile when I got home and waved a card at me: "Look what I got! I got a birthday card from my Cardiologist! He didn't say anything when I had my therapy this morning but then this came by post!"

It wasn't his birthday yet (it is TODAY), so he was excited and all smiles. "Look, it even says 'Happy Birthday Grandfather'," he said, "But I'm not a grandfather yet!" a little complain LOL I knew why it was written that way, almost everyone outside the family call him 'Opung' or grandfather in Batak language because of his old age (no sh*t, Sherlock! He's 77 years old today!) and all the grey hair covering his head.

He hasn't finished praising his Cardiologist, "I'm so touched that he even knows my birthday." -- well, it's written in your medical records definitely. "He even came to your brother's wedding with his wife." -- this, I was also surprised. "And he gave me a copy of Our Daily Bread with my name written on it last Christmas." -- this also touched me, so personal.

His encounter with dr. Raymond Suwita SpJP from Klinik CDG started in April last year, 2014. From the beginning of the 2014 my Dad's health was declining fast. He refused stents insertion, started getting problems in his brain due to lack of oxygen caused by slow blood flow through his heart, and he blacked out in February while talking to my brother. Got him 5 stitches in the head and a few days at the hospital. After he got out, he couldn't do much. The medications made him sleepy all the time, too tired to do anything, swollen legs. He got even more stressed out when his brother passed away early April.

At my Uncle's funeral I met someone who was surprised to see my Dad's condition considering he used to be very active. After listening to my story, she told me that she used to have the same problem but she found this place and had been getting therapy there for a couple of months and her heart function increased significantly -- no stent no surgery. She gave me the address, the doctor's name and told me to register him as soon as possible. We got his first appointment when I had to travel, so my brother took him there.

The clinic is using some uncommon methods in Indonesia for treatments. After almost day-long consultation (including blood test, EKG, CT Scan, etc) it was decided that for the first package my Dad would need 3 times of ILIB or Intravascular Laser Irradiation of Blood therapy (in between EECP) and 36 times of EECP or Enhanced External Counter Pulsation therapy (3 times a week). My Dad & my Brother were impressed by dr. Raymond on this first consultation. My Brother said: "He's very thorough in examining each test's result, very patient, gentle and didn't mind to answer all our questions."

The therapies were not cheap. But considering the recommendation, I was willing to try. He began the next day after the consultation. I was told that dr. Raymond kept checking on him and waited on him until the therapy finished. At one point, my Dad fell asleep in during an EECP session but dr. Raymond told my brother and the nurse to just let him sleep until he woke up by himself. If he slept that soundly, that meant he needed it. The whole package finished in about 3 months. By this time, my Dad no longer had swollen feet, he could do a little gardening again and taking care of his little pond. He improved significantly.

After that he was maintained with 2 sessions of EECP weekly and since a few months ago he only needed 1 session. He has to continue the EECP for as long as he lives and still has to take lots of medicines daily (but even with stents people still have to take medicines, so I'm okay with this). His medications are divided for his heart condition and his brain. dr. Raymond said that they couldn't fix it, the meds and vitamins are to slow down the deterioration.Since the therapies were expensive we asked him if could prescribed us with less expensive medication. With some, he could, but mostly not especially for the brain meds. Well, we all know the actual quality of Indonesian generic meds anyway; wouldn't want to risk it. But at least he tried, and we appreciated it. My Dad is now living happily, (almost) normally (no denying of old age too here) and travels almost monthly.

During those first 3 months of therapies, my brother told me that dr. Raymond remembered the name of all his patients and the patients' regular caretakers. He called my brother by name instead of the just 'the son'. Before he left the clinic, he would check if there were patients still underwent therapies and would waited on them even when his practice hour was over. And he did that every single day. This was the first time I found a doctor who treated his patients in a very personal way. God bless him! I want to thank him for the 19 months that my Dad had been under his care and for listening to our worries, answering our questions and for every special little thing he had done. May he stays strong in faith and uses his talents to help more people.

Now, HAPPY 77th BIRTHDAY DAD! Please accept the reality that yes, you're getting old ROFL We love you and wish you can be with us for many more years. Keep doing what you love to do and a blessings wherever you go.

sister

Today is the 27th birthday of my little cousin, Sarah. And she's a very special person for me. Our age is 8 years apart, with me being the older one. When she was small, I didn't like playing with her because I think she was just a "baby" and I spent most of my teenage period following her oldest brother around like a chick :D

I didn't remember exactly when we were growing closer with each other. It must be when she started college. She took Japanese literature and by that time I was already crazy about those Japanese stuff and sometime ask her to romanize a Japanese song that I like. Then she started to work and I sometimes asked for her help on a project. She also never hesitated to call me if she encountered something new that she thought I could help her with. One that that I really like about her is her determination and her eagerness to learn. When she found out something that she's not familiar with, instead of avoiding it she tried to learn about it. And she's also a fast learner.

But the one thing that drew me to her was that because she is a good listener. She never minded my rambling about works, family, my new fave singers or even nothing for the sake that I needed to say something! She listened. So as I struggled to balance between taking care of my mom, works & the ministry, she's been there the whole time. When I cried over an argument with my boss, she's also there to listen to my whining. When I was hospitalized she stayed at the hospital to take care of me even though she still had to go to work in the morning. When she was sick, I cried the whole night on my bed even though she didn't know it. We traveled together and remembered each other wherever we go. She's my comrade, (one of) my closest friend and the sister that I never had.

So on this special day, I want her to know that I really appreciate her existence in this world. That I am thankful and proud to have a sister like her. I wish her a long life, health, abundant blessings and especially heavenly wisdom to face come what may. May all her dreams come true according to HIS grace & mercy (including the one specific pray for me hehe). And as I always tell her unashamedly and as often as I could: "I LOVE YOU!!" Happy birthday, and I hope today is blast for you!!!

The Date

Today, October 29 2009, is my father's 71st birthday. But more than that, the date holds much more meanings for him. He always had mixed feelings about his birthday, and it always made me confuse how to react too. But back when mom was still around, it's much happier for him and much easier for us to be happy for him too. Despite his request not to celebrate, he couldn't say no to my mom since it's also their wedding anniversary. Here's what happened on his birthday in the past:

1. The day his father passed away. I always forgot the year but always remember the story. He brought hom some food to celebrate with his parents & siblings, but found out that my grandfather already passed away while reading the newspaper.
2. But then my mom decided October 29 1974 as their wedding day to erase the sadness of the memory of losing my grandfather.
3. October 29 2007, my father obtained his 8th Dan (level) in Karate. He was ecstatic for his achievement at his age. But then when he came home my mother announced to the whole family (after her last visit to the doctor) that the doctor said she didn't have to come to see him anymore. That she should spend her last moments with family, and pray for the best. I couldn't stand to see his eyes. He tried to be strong for her cause she didn't cry, but I know deep inside it crushed him. There was no celebration that year.

Last year was his 70th birthday and also his first birthday & anniversary without his soulmate. He looked so sad but I went ahead with a lunch celebration with family & friends. I didn't regret it, seeing the smile on his face, hearing his laughter when we brought him cake & singing him the birthday song, that's probably the best thing that happened to me last year. Cause at that time I could see, that he's happy and he forgot all the misfortunes in the past on his birthday.

And today, we'll be cutting the birthday cake at the hospital. His younger brother has been in a coma since last Saturday for an internal bleeding on his brain. So many people called him at home early this morning. When I'm leaving for work he told me: "I'm a bit anxious. There were so many things happened on my birthday in the past years... I hope he's not gone on this day too." I couldn't seem to find the right words to console him but I could only tell him not to think of the bad things all the time. Let's just pray & hope for the best.

Today I'm so thankful to God that I'm granted another year with my father. I don't know how many more birthdays we'll be able to celebrate, but today, I'm going to make it another day that can make him happy. And I pray that everyday is also a happy day for him as it is for me, to have him stand by me until this moment.

Happy 71st birthday Pops! I love you and God bless you!