the meaning of life

Finally we entered the Year of 2010... I can't help but wondered how many more years will I have in this world. Could be not for long, but I really wish it's long enough for me to enjoy to the fullest. But I also hope I won't be there anymore when the earth ends its cycle... yeah, thanks to Global Warming hahaha

Last year's holiday wasn't long enough as I usually had it in the previous year, and compared to those other years it was an ordinary enough holidays. I didn't get to travel, only managed to get 2 days off (though fortunately Christmas & New Year fell on weekends) but I certainly enjoyed every second of it. Got to spend quality time with friends and families.

On the last day of a short trip with come close friends we went to a Dutch cemetery. Actually, it's a cemetery for Dutch & British soldiers who died in war in our country many years ago. Many are just the cross without a body buried underneath. It wasn't my first visit to the place but somehow this time it left a deep impression. When I looked at rows and rows of the ashes boxes. next to the small chapel... while reading the names and the birth & death dates, I wondered how they died. Was it instantaneously? Did they feel pain before they die? Did they have missing body parts? I couldn't help but wonder.

And of course looking at the white crosses across the green grass made me feel even sadder. Some of the crosses stated that the person died in a young age, not even 20. Maybe they died in war for something that did not believe in. Or maybe they really did die for their country. And yet the fact remain the same, they died for a reason. And for whatever reason it was, they died a hero. It is also a fact that wars are still going on in every part of the world. There will be more crosses without a body, more ashes to keep and more young lives wasted.

I'm already many years over 20... but sometimes I wonder if I really understand the meaning of life. It's one of my resolutions in entering the new year... to find more meaning of life. I'm probably not a soldier going to war, but I definitely have my own war. A war to succeed in works, a war to succeed in life. And I want to fight with faith and believe. That I'm trying my best and going all out in every battle so even when there's no tomb provided for me, somehow my life had become worth meaning. Happy New Year!!