my bedroom, my sanctuary

This is my bedroom. And yes, it's Naruto everywhere and of course Naruto bedsheet you see there. Well, not just Naruto actually, but Jay Chou is definitely there too. I like a lot of stuff, but Naruto & Jay Chou are both on top of my "special" list :D

My room is the place where I do most of my activities at home. Other than sleeping, things that I do in there: watching (I have my own 23" LCD TV & DVD/DivX player), listening to music, reading (my bed is custom made with my own design, the drawers underneath can keep more than 300 comics so all I have to do is reach down to get some to get me to sleep), playing guitar, singing (being crazy is more like it), creating (whatever's on my mind), crying (when I'm just being a crybaby), sulking (when things don't go the way I plan)... What else? I eat in the dining room and have showers in the bathroom of course.

So my bedroom is very important to me. I has to be the most comfortable place for me. And to be comfortable I have to have things that I love all around me. When you see my bedroom, you see me. My bedroom is very small, but a lot of people don't seem to mind and they enjoy hanging out in my bedroom.

I have 2 sets of Naruto bedsheet, blue (as in the picture) and yellow. A set of small Naruto pillow - bolster set + small Naruto cushion (specially ordered fom Japan) + Naruto plushtoy completes the bed. Other than that I also have many plushies on my bed, which now takes up almost half my bed I think He3x Can't sleep without them. The plushies are not always the same. When one goes to the launder, another would replace.

On the wall above the LCD TV is a large Naruto poster he3x Next to it is a picture frame & Jay Chou's concert poster. There is another Jay's giant poster on the other wall. One side also holds 2 large book shelves with little merchandises scattered around. I'll take some pictures another time.

So yeah, I love plushies and figures. I used to have 6 Kamen Rider figures, one of them can turn into a battle hopper. But then some little cousins came and fought over them so I have to gave up on some of them T____T I only keep 2 Kamen Rider Ryuki's figures and battle hopper one. I really want to have a Ryuki with his Dragon fighter... You can consider that for my birthday present this year.

Sooooo, don't blame me if I'd rather stay home then hanging out at the Mall He3x now you know why I love my bedroom so much. Have a great weekend-dattebayo!!!

change... maybe...

Compared to some of my friends, I think I have a very ordinary life and I'm also a very ordinary person. This is what I do from day to day:

- Work from Monday - Friday, officially from 8am - 5pm, but I could never leave @ 5pm.

- Monday night: intercession night @ church, 7 - 9pm

- Tuesday night: Watching & reading night.

- Wednesday night: Sports, if I want to and it's not raining.

- Thursady night: Music rehearsal @ church -- only if I'm on schedule, usually 2-3 times a month.

- Friday night: Time to hang out -- only if I have the mood.

- Saturday morning: Japanese private lesson. Noon: Teaching English @ church, starting this week.

- Saturday evening - night: Youth Ministry service.

- Sunday morning - noon: Church.

That's about it. I don't go clubbing, I go to the mall once in a while when I'm bored or when I need to find something.

What else? Oh, I never dye my hair, it's natural dark brown. I still wear glasses despite people's suggestion to start wearing contacts (I rub my eyes a lot, don't think that would be comfortable with contacts). I'm not fashionable, I only wear what I'm most comfortable with -- mostly jeans + t-shirt + sneakers. Am I not ordinary... or plain?? (^-^)

And suddenly in this age I feel like I need some change. No, I'm not going to start clubbing Ha3x Don't like the music being played, I think it's too loud. And I don't drink alcohol either, especially since I got allergic to grapes a couple of years ago so I can't drink wine either. The allergic is not that bad, I can still eat grapes & drink a sip of wine. When I start coughing though, that's a sign to stop otherwise the coughing will continue for weeks.

Sooooo, this change that I mentioned is actually not a drastic one. I've cut my hair short last month... and I'm thinking of dyeing my hair, my hairdresser offered a special service for that since from the 10 years of my patronage I never did anything else to my hair except the basic treatments. I think he's dying to do something else to it LoL

Anyway, what a long entry just to say that I might (or might not) dye my hair... to what color I don't know but not blonde. Aaaaargh, I also have to change this blabering habit!!! Too bad my hairdresser can not do it for me or we can spend one hour longer at the beauty salon to work on my hair and my thoughts! He3x

Referring to this post, I finally had my second USG last Friday. I'm so happy, the result was good. Even though I still experienced pain on my last cycle, the cyst's size is smaller now. On Nov 2008 the size was 3.9cm x 2.4 cm, last Friday was 3.4cm x 2.4cm. I should return to the doc in another 3 months, though... but doc said so far no surgery needed. But I have to be careful in taking the pain killer, doc didn't want to take to much of it, he again reminded me: "Only if you can't stand the pain anymore."

Then from the obgyn went to Takemori with my lovely cousin, si Dul and kind of having a Korean food feast he3x I ate a lot! We watched Family Outing & some DBSK's MV all through dinner. She had fallen hard for Mirotic LOL Bad bad me... And we were laughing so hard on each hillarious scene in FO! Lucky we were in a private room & looks like there's only another 2 people outside, I bet our laughter can be heard all over the small restaurant :D

Anyway, the DBSK party didn't end that night. Yesterday after church me, my bro & some cousins were going for lunch at PIM, then from there si Dul went to my place and we had another DBSK watching session until 7PM!!! Kyaaaaaaaaaa!!

All in all, I really enjoyed my weekend. I had enough laugh, enough rest and another meeting with The Father. Life is good.

anniversary

Today is the 1st anniversary of my mom’s passing away. One year used to be so long for me, but this time it went by so fast in a blink of an eye. Yet I felt so many changes in me that I wouldn’t even thought I’d had.

My brother came a few days ago, said that he wants to visit mom’s grave. Believe it or not, I haven’t visited her grave this past year, not even once. I still don’t know why it is so hard for me to go, I always found a reason not to go everytime my dad went. I feel so guilty. And some people thought that I’m a bad daughter for not going. But just the thought of her grave is giving me pain & heartache for whatever reasons, I can’t imagine how I’m going to react when I’m really there. So I’ll go when I feel I’m ready. But not today.

I asked my friend who already lost her mom so many years ago: “When will you get over the sadness of losing her? After 2 years? 5 years?” She smiled to me and said: “You will never get over it. Even after 10 years there will be times when you smile remembering your good times with her, but there will also be time when you cry remembering the same moments you spent with her. But as life goes by, you’ll be able to control your feelings and laugh more when you think about it.” I think it’s true.

I don’t cry so often anymore when I think of her. But I still miss her terribly when I have so much to tell. I used to tell her everything. What bothers me, what made me happy, what annoyed me, what I wanted to do, what I wanted to buy, what movies I watched, which boyband I was into… just everything! This past year without her sometimes felt so lonely. When something good happened to me, I kept smiling all the way home excited to share my happiness just to found my dad already in bed. I smiled like an idiot by myself in my bedroom ha3x That’s the kind of thing that I missed the most.

Life goes on… I move on… But I really wish I could visit her grave soon… at least before another anniversary v(^_^)v

not sure

I gradually lost my confidence on a lot of things lately...

All this time hearing people say how "positive thinking" am I... but right now I'm not sure where I stand.

I tried to change myself to a better me, based on others' comments & complains... but that doesn't seem to work out.

I tried to do 'more things' to 'more people'... but it seems like those people don't really need me to those things for them.

I'm so afraid to make decisions now, I'm at a loss...