soulmate

Did you ever have anybody of the opposite gender that you can call “soulmate” even though you’re not in a relationship?

I did, long time ago. He was supposed to be 1 year my senior in high school, but he moved to another city when I got in. I didn’t meet him until like a year later, we were in the same club… I didn’t think that there’s anything special between us when we first met. He didn’t talk much, and I thought that he didn’t like me too since I was a talkative person. He was a mysterious guy.

Then at one point we got to spend a few hours together. I don’t remember anymore what we were talking about during that few hours… but it started there. Letters were sent every week… once I received I replied the next day and vice versa. We could feel it when something went wrong with each other. And the funny thing was, in the rare moments we got to spend a couple of times in a year, we rarely speak. We shared everything through letters, hundreds of them exchanged between us!

There was once when I wanted to give him a surprise visit on my holidays. I didn’t tell him anything, I just packed my suitcase and took a train to the city he lived in. When I got to his house, I met his grandmother who was so surprised to see me by the door and claimed: “You can’t be here!! He’s on the way to Jakarta to surprise you!!” That was like the only time that our frequency didn’t match! I cried so hard the whole day cause I felt like I missed him too much. But I also can’t go back to Jakarta right away, cause after visiting him I planned to go visit my uncle in Semarang. The rest of the holiday was a misery for both of us.

From all the birthday presents that I ever received, his was the one that I treasured most. It’s proudly hanging in my bedroom. I was already in college at that time, we hardly kept in touch. But when he’s back in Jakarta we managed to meet after my birthday. When we met, he silently gave me this square and thick stuff, wrapped in a flowery gift paper. When I opened it, I saw myself stared back at me in pencil. He drew me from a picture that I didn’t even remember he had. I cried.

Years passed by… somewhere along the way we lost in touch… There were a few times when he suddenly called and said hi… his numbers kept changing for many reasons, he even moved to Canada for a year. And you know what, I always dreamed of him before he calls came. Losing him hurts so much more than the worst break up I’ve been through. Every year, there’s always a day when I think of him and wondering how is he doing now. His last call came 3 years ago. It was awkward, there was silence hung between the lines for a few minutes. We didn’t say anything after the hello… I knew it was him right away. Then he said that he hoped I was fine and that he’ll call me again sometime. I said OK. We hung up. I cried again. No more call ever since, but deep down inside sometimes there’s a tingling that I can’t described when I think of him.

Even though the relationship was completely platonic… honestly, I don’t ever want to go through the same thing again. If I ever going to meet the one that I can call “soulmate” once again, then I want him to be the one that I will spend the rest of my life with. I want him to be that special someone just like I would be for him. I want to “feel” him with my soul just like he would “feel” me with his entire being. And that, my lovely friends… is something that I’m looking forward to find…

Today, I bid him farewell from my heart but not from my memories… I wish him well… and thank you for all those years that we were through.