Miracle Encounter

OK, so it was my first time to watch a concert in Japan -- something that I've always dreamed of but never came true until March 14, 2012. Osaka-jo Hall will always be a memorable place for me.

The whole trip was a miracle since it wasn't actually planned in the first place. I heard about the concert, saw the schedule, checked the plane tickets fare and everything matched! Though the whole process in getting the concert ticket itself was long... and turned out to be more expensive than the plane fare; in the end I got it anyway.

But the biggest miracle would be a meeting with someone - or should I say, two people that made still smile in awe even now. Nah, I didn't meet TVXQ though that would be another miracle for me if it ever happens LOL

So my friend and I were queuing to get inside the Hall... Everyone was speaking Japanese, we were talking in our mother tongue when suddenly 2 girls were lining up right behind us. The moment we heard them speaking English, we started a conversation and just like me they're also Arashi fans and they're from the Philippines. They're luckier though since they've been to their concert while I'm still dreaming of ever get to watch one.

In the middle of our lively conversation regarding our "dream boys", we were taking pictures of ourselves in the queue as well (Girls! What do you expect? :D) Then of course, when it came to keeping in touch, we're following each other through twitter. Then one girl mentioned his twitter name. I was like: 'Huh?? Why's the name so familiar?' I kept trying to remember throughout the concert till finally I realize that someone with the same name left comments in my fanfics.

Just before the concert ended (and they left for Tokyo to see Arashi lights at Tokyo Tower the next day) I asked her if she had an account with the same name at the social network where I post my fanfics. She said yes and asked me why I asked?

I shyly told her: "I think you left some comments in my stories." She asked me again: "What's the title of your story?" It took her two seconds after I mentioned the titles before she screamed and jumped me for a hug! Then the other girl was like: "What?? What??" Then she was told about my identity (I'm trying to make myself sound mysterious here *grin*) and again she jumped me. Apparently the other girl also urged her to read my stories though she never left a comment.

Don't you think that it's a miracle indeed? There were around 10.000 people in the arena, a couple of hundreds in the standing area, and two people from another country who happened to read my stories were standing right behind me... and we got to watch the concert together, screamed together, sang together and waved our lightsticks together! For me, yes, it's a miracle. I'm glad I got to see the faces of people who read my stories and care enough to leave comments. More than the concert, the miracle encounter brought me another happiness that encouraged me to keep writing -- which reminds me that I haven't posted anything for the past 3 months :D

Lastly, since we couldn't take any pictures inside the concert hall, I took a picture outside with the giant banner of the boys. Lovely, isn't it :)

Idol

One afternoon in the office.

Boss: Was that your idol who starred in The Green Hornet?? Something Chou?

Me: Yes! Jay Chou *grin* He's a Taiwanese singer.

Boss: Ah, so he is Taiwanese!

Me: How did you remember? Oh wait, you bought me his CD/DVD before!

Boss: I did! That's why when I was watching I was like 'Shit, this guy looks familiar!'

I guess that happens when you work with someone long enough... And 15 years is long enough to make him even remember my fave Taiwanese singer LOL

A Mother's Grief and A Wife's Prayer

Yesterday, we just buried the body of a loved one. My cousin in law, Sahat Pramadana Sitorus, or we used to call him Bang Ato. His death was a shock to all of us when he heard the news yesterday morning. He just went to Surabaya – East Java to sing with the church choir he was a member of. He went to bed early because he felt cold but was found dead when his friends tried to wake him up for a late night snacks at midnight.

After my aunt called to inform the news, my cousin Refny – Bang Ato’s wife, called my mobile again. The first thing that she said was, “Bang Ato is no longer here.” I wanted to say something meaningful but all that’s came out of my mouth was, “Be strong. You have God on your side.” To which she replied to me, “Please come soon, I can be stronger when you’re all also here.”

And during these two days I have witnessed just how strong and faithful of a cousin that I had. Yes, she cried a lot, she lost a husband, someone that she vowed to be with for the rest of their lives, but it was cut short just a little bit after their 5^th anniversary. But she never left Jesus’ name from her mouth when she felt she couldn’t bear the grief anymore.

Bang Ato’s mother – we called her Inang, was even more devastated. Her husband died many years ago and as the oldest child Bang Ato had been taking care of her with love and patience. She said that he was a child who always listened to what his parents told him. She’s been sickly for a few years so she always thought that she was the one that would leave first instead of his beloved son.

There’s a quote that I remembered reading somewhere:

There’s a name for children who lost their parents.

There’s a name for a husband or a wife who lost their spouse.

But there’s no name for parents who lost their children because it’s too painful.

Children are supposed to live longer than their parents.

I was reminded of that quote when I saw her crying over his dead body. I was told that when Bang Ato’s body just arrived at the house, she fainted. And his two younger sisters were crying hysterically. My heart broke every time I saw her gently caressing Bang Ato’s face and holding his dead body. The body of someone that you gave birth to and nurtured for years, the one who was supposed to be by her side when her time to leave the world comes. I hope that her other children can overcome their grief and help Inang to overcome her sadness and loss.

Refny and Bang Ato got married 5 years ago, August 2006. I still remember it very clearly, they asked me to sing on their holy matrimony. So my cousin Sarah and I sang together at church. The song that they chose was titled “Semua Baik” or “All Is Good”. Here are part of the lyrics.

Dari semula t’lah Kau tetapkan

Hidupku dalam tanganMu, dalam rencanaMu Tuhan

From The Beginning You have decided

My life is in Your hand, in Your plan oh God

Rencana indah t’lah Kau siapkan

Bagi masa depanku yang penuh harapan

A beautiful plan You have prepared

For my future, full of hope

S’mua baik, s’mua baik

Apa yang t’lah Kau perbuat di dalam hidupku

All is good, all is good

What you have done in my life

S’mua baik, sungguh teramat baik

Kau jadikan hidupku berarti

All is good, all is very good

You have made my life meaningful

They were still trying to have a child when God called him back home. Though a lot of people pity her current situation right now, I believe that they have chosen that song in the beginning of their marriage because they believe that God knows better about their future. All is good.

They didn’t know each other for long before their wedding and she told me a lot of her struggle in the beginning of their marriage. Every single day, she prayed to God to give them wisdom to learn to love each other more and to surrender themselves in God’s capable hand. She prayed for him to grow into a husband who loves God more before his family and God had answered her prayers.

He wasn’t a man with many words but just before he left for his last trip he thanked her for being a wonderful wife, that he couldn’t think of what he might be become if he didn’t marry her. But most importantly, he told her that he loved God more than anything and promised to live according to His will each day. She only laughed at him at that moment, but I believe that it’s God’s way in telling her that her prayers had been answered. Holding on to God’s promise, she told me she knew that Bang Ato is already in God’s hand and she shouldn’t worry about her future.

Still, none of us could hold our tears from falling when her father put on the grieving veil on her. According to our tribe’s culture, it’s a mark of the changing of her status of being a widow. It pained me to hear the crying voices of our parents when they told her to be strong and let her know that we will support her as her family, that she could always turn to us whenever she feels weak. But maybe the words that really summed up what we wanted to convey to her came up from my other cousin and my uncle.

My cousin said:

You can cry to your heart’s content today, but remember that it will have to stop eventually for God doesn’t want you to grieve for a very long time.

My uncle said:

We put on this grieving veil on you to let you know that you’re always a part of us and you’ll be protected with us. You’re not alone and your family will always be here for you.

Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you. (John 16:22)

She will feel the sadness for awhile but I really hope that she can see the goodness that God had done for her from the starting of her marriage until her husband’s death. And as her family, we will support her in everyway that we can. I hope that she will feel less lonely with us by her side and that she keeps serving God with her talents.

But most of all, we want her to know that God loves her. And we love her.

And like the song that they have chosen 5 years ago. ALL IS GOOD.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. (I Thessalonians 4:13)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Goodbye Bang Ato, you’ll always be remembered, we love you. Have fun in heaven!

The Sound of Music

Recognize any of the name above? No? That's fine... cause from 10 friends that I asked, only 1 person recognized Paul Mauriat, and that's because he's playing sax and happened to listened to one of Paul's recording long time ago. But that's the kind of musicians that I grew up listening to. If you wanna know about Herbie Mann, Jethro Tull, Vicky Leandros, click on the names. I have provided the link.

I have to admit that I'm a little late in terms of being up to date to music. I didn't know who Duran Duran is until I was in High School in early 90's. I heard about Bon Jovi when un-original cassettes were being swiped from stores. At that time I went shopping with my mom and so many people were looking for their albums. I was so happy cause the classical rack was still full so I asked my mom to buy me some James Galway's cassettes instead.

I have to thank my Dad for the unusual musical taste though. He's the one who kept playing them non-stop, in the car and at home. Many times I felt annoyed, not because I didn't enjoy it but more because I'm a little bit ashamed if my friend happened to hear it... it's like: "What's that you're listening to? How old are you?" But then again, I may not be able to appreciate a wide range of music if not because of that habit that my Dad implanted in my young mind.

Looking at my singing hobby and my eagerness to learn to play instruments (a little guitar & drum), people often asked me if my parents are playing music or singing too. The answer is no. Not at all. I couldn't even stand listening to my mom's singing, she's so out of tune! LOL So I don't really know where did I & my brother (who played almost all instruments) get that from :D

Anyway... if there's anything other than books that I can't leave without, then it's music. I bring music everywhere I go. I'm glad that I can appreciate music well and it's all thanks to my Dad. Though even the musicians that I mentioned above have become LEGENDS, I'm still happy that I got to listen to them back then, cause it made me appreciate the current music more.

I'm Getting Through It

Despite my tough appearance (according to many people, though I don't really think so), I'm actually such a cry baby. I can't watch a sad movie without crying like an heartbroken idiot -- thinking: 'what if it happens to me' or 'I wish it never happens to me'. I even cried while driving past an old man sitting by the pavement and looking so lonely -- thinking: 'does he have a family to take care of him' or 'I should talk to my father tonight so he won't get lonely'.

I cried a lot but I ever since Mom passed away I cried even more often and little things tugged at my heartstrings more easily. If I used to cry on my bed in the past, lately I cried more often in the car, while driving to or from work or just whenever I felt like it. So to prevent having such a moody feeling I tried to play cheerful and upbeat music. Still, there are times when everything was just not right... sentimental songs were playing through the radio... and unstoppable tears were just falling like rain.

Many times I asked myself whether I'm still not over the grieve from my Mom's death. But this person said in one of his twit: "YOU NEVER GET OVER GRIEF, YOU GET THROUGH IT." I'm relieved, cause I know that I'm not dwelling on the grief, I get on with my life, and it's okay for me to cry when I feel like it but never let the sad feelings bring me down... I'M GETTING THROUGH IT, and I'm living in remembrance of my Mom and the good and bad things that we went through.

Yeah... I'm sure there's a point in our life when we just feel everything is wrong... things are dragging us down.... but LIFE GOES ON... we shouldn't dwell on the past but to move on. And when you're unable to get over it, then get through it!

And here I'm sharing a picture taken at my cousin's wedding last May with Dad & Lil' Bro'. It's not easy to get a family photo like this, didn't even have one with Mom. So I treasure this and hope to take more while he's still with us.